


Loving Light

by DragonKnightHannah



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Blood and Gore, Dreams and Nightmares, Hallucinations, Mental Instability, Murder, Other, Pennywise (IT) is His Own Warning, Shapeshifting, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 11:48:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21178931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonKnightHannah/pseuds/DragonKnightHannah
Summary: I don't know what to say that wouldn't just straight out spoil the whole story. Just know that Pennywise can use his deadlights to do more than catch prey...





	Loving Light

Chapter 1 - The Dream

It was just a normal night. I was sitting on the couch, thinking about my life, staring at my phone looking through old pictures. I had left home to become an animator for a small company that made kids cartoons. The pay wasn't great but at least I was doing what I loved, or so I thought. The longer I stayed there the more I wanted to run and explore the world, not feel trapped at a desk drawing the same characters over and over again. I lived in a small apartment in Columbus, by myself of course. So it was only natural that I started to feel lonely and homesick, but home was worse than this.  
As much I miss my family they drove me nuts. They never care for my passions, only Adam's, my brother. He was a straight A student that grow up to be a successful businessman. My parents gave him everything and left me with nothing. They bought him a new car for his sweet 16, they gave me a book. It wasn't a good book either, it was a book on how to be a better person. I remember the last time I talked to them it was before I moved here. They kept trying to convince me that I was going to work a dead end place that would lead me nowhere and that I should be more like my brother. The only one that believed in me was my grandma Judy. She loved hearing my stories and watching me draw. When I was little I would sneak out of the house just to go visit her. She would always have a fresh batch of homemade muffins and a glass of milk ready for me. We would sit on the porch listening to the birds sing and talk about anything until it got dark. I'd give anything to go back to those days. Back when I felt like could do anything. Back when I didn't have a care in the world. Back to when I still smiled, but that's all in the past now. Now I'm here in a lonely apartment, with a dead end job, wishing something would change.  
The silence of the room was broken by the sound of a phone ringing, it was Adam. As much as I didn't want to answer I did anyway. He almost never calls me so it must be important.  
"Jess it's grandma, something happened to her heart. The doctor says she's in a really bad state and might not make it to the end of the week. Jess.. You need to come home"  
I could barely speak, I know I said I wanted something to change but not like this. We talked for a while, discussing where I'd be staying, who will be there, and what will happen.  
Immediately after the call I bought a plane ticket and went to my room to start packing. My mind was blank, I didn’t want to think about it. The only thing I could think of was seeing her in a hospital bed looking cold and lifeless. I tried to hold back the tears, but that's hard to do when it feels like you're losing a part of you. I ended up breaking down, the tears wouldn’t stop. I just sat there in the middle of the floor trying to pull myself together.  
It was hard to sleep that night. A million thoughts were going through my mind, most of them were bad. 'Would she still be alive by the time I got there?' I thought, but I didn't want to think. I just wanted to wake up and have all of this be just one big nightmare. I passed out once the thoughts stopped, and began to dream.  
I dreamt I was at grandma Judy's house, sitting on the porch rocking back and forth. I could smell the muffins, the fresh air and... popcorn? I could hear her humming a sweet little tune, one she always hummed while busy doing simple chores. There were kids playing and laughing in the distance, I couldn't see them but I could clearly hear them from somewhere. At first I thought it was coming from outside of the dream. Like maybe there were kids playing outside of my apartment, but at this time? Then the kids started singing something, I couldn't make out what it was but they were slowly getting louder and louder. I stood up and faced the front door, I couldn't hear her humming anymore so I wanted to see if she was ok. The door opened on its own and all I saw inside were red balloons. They filled the whole room, I couldn't see anything past them. I slowly stepped inside, “Grandma, are you ok?” I call out but my voice could barely be heard against the ever growing sound of children singing. I kept walking, the balloons moving away as I go forward. Suddenly the door slams behind me slams shut and the room goes dark. I stop and look back at the door, my heart starts to race. The balloons begin to circle me, getting faster and faster. Now the kids were getting louder and the balloons started getting closer making the room darker and darker. I began to panic as the room got smaller and louder. In my confusion and panic I shouted “STOP.” All of the balloons popped at once and the singing stopped. I was left there alone in the darkness.  
“What’s the matter Jess?” Someone said from the shadows. Their voice was a bit unsettling, going to different pitches as they spoke. “Don’t you remember me?” I didn’t have a clue who they were but they did somehow sound familiar. Suddenly two hands wearing white gloves reached out of the darkness. The right hand held a red balloon attached to a string, the left was held out beckoning me to grab it. “I’ve missed you so much!” He began to giggle but it slowly turned into a hysterical laugh. I took a step back and looked behind to see if I could find a way out. When I looked back the hands where gone but the balloon was still there. It was quiet again, I looked around trying to figure out where they went. I saw nothing but the balloon and the darkness that surrounded me. Suddenly the hands grabbed me from behind and pulled me straight into the darkness.  
I awoke in a cold sweat, ‘what the hell kind of dream was that?’ I thought. I looked at my phone “Oh shit-” I was going to be late for my plane. I rushed out of bed, threw on some clothes and rushed out the door. I just barely made it in time. Once I was on the plane, I started thinking about the dream. His voice was so familiar, like I had known him for years, but I can’t remember anything about him. I decided to forget about it, after all it was only a dream. Now I can think about is going back home to Derry….

Chapter 2 - Home Sweet Home

I had only been in Derry for a week but it felt like years. So many things happened at once, it was hard to believe it was all real. Once my grandmother passed away I found out she had given me so many things in her will. Including her old house and a lot of money no one knew she had. I decided to stay in Derry rather than going back to that small depressing apartment. I stepped inside the house and immediately felt a rush of memories come back to me. It was as if I had forgotten a huge chunk of my childhood. Though the house was old and a bit withered it still felt nice and cozy. The walls needed a new coat of paint and some of the floorboards were loose. Anywhere you stepped there was a small creaking noise that got louder in areas. Some of the furniture had been there for ages and were starting to collect dust. Some of them were just too old to keep. The chairs in the dining room felt like would fall apart if I even tried to sit on them. The couch had tears in it, plus some stains all over the cushions so I wasn’t going to sit there anytime soon. Upstairs is where the master bedroom, of course I had to get rid of the mattress and bed frame in that room. They were both very old and I rather not sleep in the same bed my grandmother did, so they had to go.  
It felt so strange being back in Derry. Almost nothing had changed since the last time I was here. Going down the street I recognized some houses where my old friends used to live. Some of the local businesses looked like they were still going strong. The school and library looked exactly the same as when I was little. However, the people here seemed to act differently than what I remember. Though it has been almost 6 years since I moved away, I didn’t expect things to stay the same. I guess I just got so used to living in the city that I forgot what it was like living in such a small town, but something still felt off about them. Sometimes I would get this feeling that someone was staring at me. I just assumed they didn’t like the way I looked. After all this town always liked to judge people for being different.  
It had been almost a month since I moved here and things were starting to get weird. In the middle of the night I would hear the floor creak. I didn’t think much of it, until one night I heard the sound of bells and an all too familiar giggle. I grabbed a flashlight and my pocket knife and walked over to the door. My heart started pounding. I opened the door slowly and looked around. No one was there but a light was coming from the kitchen down stairs. Against my better judgment I decided to go investigate. I slowly went down the steps, trying not to make too much noise. I looked over to the kitchen and saw a muffin on the counter next an envelope. I hesitated, it smelled like one of grandma’s muffins. I walked over to the counter and looked around again, still no one was there. I put down my knife and picked up the muffin, it was a blueberry muffin, my favorite. It looked just like one of grandma’s muffins, but it couldn’t have been. She stopped making them not long after I left. I tore off a piece and ate it, tasted exactly like hers. I put down the muffin and opened the envelope. Inside there was a picture of my grandma and I on my 10th birthday, both of us with great big smiles on our faces. I had just finished eating my slice of cake before this photo was taken so I still had frosting on my face. I felt a wave of emotions hit me, but I held them back. There was a letter in the envelope as well.  
It read,  
‘Hello Jess, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Judy was an old friend of mine so I understand how heartbreaking this all must be for you. I do apologize, it must seem so strange finding a random letter in your house. I helped to take care of Judy up until she passed so she had given me a spare key to the house. Don’t worry I left it in the envelope, I won't be coming in uninvited ever again. I also left you the last of your grandma’s muffins too. She told me how much you loved them so I thought it would only be right for you to have it. Your grandmother told me so many stories about you and I was hoping I could meet you in person. I live down on 29 Neibolt street. I’ll have some ice cold lemonade and some snacks ready for you, so stop by anytime you wish. I have so much to discuss with you.  
Sincerely, Mr. Grey”  
I checked inside the envelope again and there was indeed a spare key inside. I don’t remember my grandmother ever mentioning anyone named Mr. Grey, but he did bring me her last muffin. She only ever made them for family or close friends, maybe she just forgot to tell me about him. After all her memory did start to fade a few years ago so it wouldn’t surprise me it she did forget. Still I didn’t want to take any chances, he did come into my house uninvited after all.  
The next day I decided to bring my taser with me to see Mr. Grey. I put it in one of my jacket pockets so it wouldn’t be as noticeable, then i walked over to 29 Neibolt Street. When I got to the house it looked a bit old but still looked nice. The yard needed some work but some beautiful flowers bloomed in a wide variety of colors across it. I walked up to the front door, before I could even knock the door swung open. “Well hello there, you must be Jess,” he said with excitement. He was a tall and skinny man with a big smile on his face. He wore an old white t-shirt with grey pants and suspenders. He was a bit old and seemed to fidget quite a bit, but he had a real sweat charm to him. I replied, “Yes and you must be Mr. Grey.”  
“Indeed I am hehehe.. uh.. Oh! W-won’t you come inside?” He said nervously as he took a step back to let me in. I stepped inside towards the living room. Mr. Grey closed the door behind me and started walking towards the kitchen. “Go ahead and have a set on the couch. I’ll be back with some refreshments.” I walked over to the couch and sat down, it was soft. The inside of the house looked better than the outside. It had an 80’s or 90’s kinda feel that I liked. In front of me was a glass coffee table with a vase full of flowers on it. The floor was hard wood, a cute little rug was under the table. Just past the table was a fireplace with a mantel that had framed photos on it. I look behind me to see Mr. Grey coming over with two glasses of lemonade. He handed me one and then sat down next to me. I took a sip, it tasted good and fresh.  
“So how has it been being back in Derry?” He asked before taking a sip of his drink. “It’s been nice, so many good memories came flooding back to me. As if leaving here... made me forget...”  
“Well that’s what happens to most people that leave this town, but usually the things they forget were awfully terrible memories.” It went quiet for a moment, I noticed some drool coming from his bottom lip. “It’s as if there was a curse on this town,” he said with a giggle that sounded awfully familiar. “Oh but I wouldn’t worry about that too much,” he leaned forward a bit and put his cup on the table. “I’m just glad you’re back.” His voice slowly started to change pitch almost randomly. Scars began to appear on his face going from his forehead to mouth, more drool dripped from his lips. I knew this was a bad idea but this is worse than I imagined. I put down my cup, my heart began to race and my head felt light. “I’m sorry Mr. Grey but I’m afraid I have to g-”  
“NO” he shouted, grabbing my leg and pulling me closer to him. I fell back causing the taser in my pocket to fall to the ground. I tried to grab it as fast as I could, but he gets it before me and throws it across the room. I heard it smash against the wall and break. Now I’m lying on the couch with Mr. Grey hanging his body over mine, drool dripped down and onto my chest. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t move. He put his right hand on the couch just past my head, his left hand slowly caressed my face. I felt so trapped under him. His face now cover in what seemed like paint, the scars had turned blood red. He leaned closer to my face and whispered, “I missed you so much.” He began to giggle as he slowly lowered his body onto mine. “Get off of me!” I yelled as I try to push him away, but my efforts to escape were useless. It felt like I was trying to move a brick wall, he didn’t move at all. I tried to think of a way to escape but there was nothing I could do. I had fallen right into his trap.  
“Oh~ we’re going to have so much fun!” 

Chapter 3 - Burning Desire 

“Do you remember yet Jess? Remember when I’d play with you in the woods when no one else would.” He said as he gently stroked my hair. “Poor little Jess, no one wanted to be your friend because you were different. Always so quiet, so shy, so alone.” Drool dripped from his lip onto my face. It felt disgusting, I wanted to wipe it off but I was still frozen in fear. “You tried your hardest to find a friend but all it brought you was sorrow. They always bullied you after school so you would run down to the creak and hide in a little tent you made out of old blankets.” Had I gone mad? None of this made any sense. He was somehow wearing a clown suit now and his hair had turned orange. It had to be a dream, or maybe I was losing my mind.  
“Oh but your little safe place didn’t last long did it? They were there waiting for you. You ran to the sewer hopping to find a place to hide, but instead you found me.” More memories of my childhood came rushing back to me, finally letting me remember who he was.  
“Pennywise,” I whisper but the name still echoed.  
“Oh~ good you finally remember me!” He chuckled, shaking the bells hidden in his ruffles. He had a big smile on his face, but I could tell he was hiding something beneath it. His eyes slowly faded from blue to orange and were facing opposite directions. “Now we can finally play again! How about hide and seek, or hopscotch, or m-maybe tag?” He asked excitedly, it felt like he was going to start bouncing off the walls.  
“Penny I-I’m not in the mood to play right now. I um, have m-more important thing I-I should be doing ” My voice was shaky. Though I did remember who he was, he still had me pinned on the couch. It didn’t help that I always believed he was just an imaginary friend. Someone I made up to help me not feel so alone, but at that moment I think I’d rather be alone and not here.  
“Oh that’s right, little Jess isn’t so little anymore. No time to play silly little games with ol Pennywise” he said sounding very sad “Oh! But I know something we can do now that you're grown up.” He quickly grabbed my face with both of his hands and forced me to look directly at him. His eyes staring into mine then slowly drifting down to my lips. As he grew closer he whispered “I’ve waited so long for this.” Then he kissed me. I wanted to push him away, but then something came over me. His lips tasted sweet like cotton candy. It felt like I was being hypnotized by them. I couldn’t help but kiss him back. His hands moved from my face down to my body and hugged me. For a moment It felt like he was trying to french kiss me, forcing his tongue into my mouth, but it didn’t stop there. His tongue went down my throat to my stomach filling my esophagus. I couldn’t breathe, I looked at his face to see that his eyes had rolled back and were now pure white. I tried to push him away but it was no use. Moments before I blacked out his tongue came out in an instant. I gasped for air while also coughing from all the drool now stuck in my throat. At the same time Pennywise quickly buried his face into my neck, smelling me deeply. I felt something burning within my stomach. Did he put something in me? Was it a parasite, or was my body just reacting to the amount of drool I had to swallow? Either way I could tell it was nothing good.  
Once I had finally recovered enough to breathe properly, a shiver went down Penny’s back. “It’s not enough,” he growled pulling himself off my neck, “I need more.” He quickly shuffled down to my crotch and tried to pull my pants down, but I quickly grabbed them and pulled them back up. Penny looked up at me with frustration, I looked back at him with determination. There was no way in hell I was going to just let him have his way with me. However it didn’t really matter what I wanted. An evil grin crept up his face, showing rows sharp teeth. He let out a deep growl as claws grew out of his right glove. At this point I realize I had made the terrible mistake of denying his desires. Before I even had time to think he tore my pants and underwear to shreds. I gasped at the sudden exposure. He then leaned down firmly grasping my thighs and pressed his nose against my clit. Once again he started to smell my deeply. My body began to twitch. Lifting his head a little, he began to lick me. I felt a rush of pleasure go through my body. I tried to deny it but it felt too good. It was as if he knew exactly how to please me. This whole situation made me feel oddly aroused. Was this a symptom of whatever he put in me? There was no way I was actually getting turned on by all of this. I then felt his slick tongue slide right into my vagina. A small moan escaped my lips. I quickly covered my face with me hands, I hated how much I was enjoying it. To think I was going to lose my virginity to a psychotic clown from my childhood. This had to be a nightmare. Penny then grabbed my arms and pulled them, uncovering my face. Did he like hearing me moan aloud, or was I simply not allowed to hide my face?  
There was nothing his tongue couldn’t reach. Every movement his tongue made sent a wave of pleasure. Moments later he retracted his tongue from me and stood up. Bending his legs so his hips would be level with mine. Keeping his right hand on my thigh and used the other to pull down the pants of his suit. At first It looked like he only had a vagina, but then an alien like dick slowly slithered out. It was long. The base of it was thick and the tip was thinner, but not by much. He began to grind it against me gently. I could barely think straight, I was surprised that I could even think at all. All this pleasure that I had never felt before had my mind spinning. He then clenched his shaft and slowly inserted it in me. I wasn’t curtain if it would even fit, the tip felt bigger than it looked. When it finally did pop in I let out a gasp. It continued to go deeper inside me. Once he was fully in he looked up at me, as if he wanted to see if I was ok. I couldn’t make eye contact with him, I felt so shy and ashamed. Penny then laid his chest against mine while letting out a low pur like noise. I looked at him, his eyes staring deeply into mine. I felt my heart skip a beat. He then started kissing me, this time without his long tongue. At the same time he slowly started to move his hips back and forth, slowly picking up speed. As he continued to go faster and faster he held on to me so I wouldn’t move so much. I wish I could say it felt awful, but then I would be lying.  
Penny suddenly stopped trusting, it gave me a chance to recollect myself. Curious as to why he stopped I looked down to see he was adjusting himself. I thought he had simply lost his footing, but he was actually preparing himself for what was about to happen Suddenly he hugged me very tightly and started trusting fast and deeply. Once again a moan escaped me, but I was too filled with pleasure to care. Penny began to groan with pleasure as well. He didn’t slow down, not even for a little bit. I felt myself getting closer and closer. I looked at him, His eyes were rolled back and he had a smile creeping up the left side of his face. His head was tilted back and to the left, it seemed like he was getting close as well. A few moments later I orgasmed, causing my vagina to spasm. Penny came as well, pumping his seed inside me. He let out a loud growl as he did, then immediately buried his face in my neck again. His dick slowly retracted back into his body. We stayed there for a moment, his seed began to flow out of me. Penny then sat down on the floor while still holding me tightly, forcing me to sit on his lap. He began to kiss my neck gently while loosening his hold on me.  
Slowly my mind snapped back and I started to wonder if I was able to escape or not. I tried to push him off and surprisingly he was easy to move this time. Now he looked like his mind was stuck in space. His head drooped with a plank face, drool once again fell from his lips. I tried to stand up and walk to the door, but my legs buckled and I fell to the floor. It was no use, my legs were now too weak for me to escape. Then I heard Pennywise chuckle “Well where do you think you’re going?” I rolled onto my back to see him standing over me. “I’m not done with you yet!” he hissed as his dick slithered back out. I immediately rolled back around and tried crawling away as fast as I could. He instantly grabbed my ankle and dragged me closer to him. He then proceeded to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder. While he carried me to the upstairs bedroom I kicked and punch him trying to escape, but as expected it was completely useless to try.  
I was stuck there until it grew dark. I ended up passing out from exhaustion. I woke up the next morning in my bed and hoped it was all just a dream, but then my body began to feel really sore. Then immediately followed by nausea. I quickly ran to the bathroom and puked. At first I was going to flush it, but then I noticed some strange things in it. Blood was the first thing, and some black liquid that began to float up. Finally the most unsettling thing I saw was someone's wedding ring…. What the hell happened to me?


End file.
